Curiosity Corner
By
Dr. Jerry D. Wilson
Emeritus Professor of Physics
Lander University
I enjoy reading funny quotes. Yogi Berra, the baseball player and manager, and Samuel Goldwyn, the movie maker, were great ones for this. Here are some of their best, plus a few others. Hope you enjoy.
Yogi Berra:
- “It never happened in a World Series competition, and it still hasn’t.”
- “I’ll get it when I die.” (Explaining why he bought a large insurance policy.)
- “I don’t know. They were wearing a paper bag over their head.” (When asked if a streaker was male or female.)
- “He (Steve McQueen) must have made that before he died.” (On a McQueen film.)
- “You couldn’t keep a conversation going. Everybody was talking too much.” (Describing a social function.)
Samuel Goldwyn:
- “A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.”
- “They always bite the hand that lays the golden egg.”
- “She’s colossal in a small way.” (Describing an actress.)
And here are a few others:
- “I didn’t say that I didn’t say it. I said that I didn’t say that I said it. I want to make that very clear.” –George Romney
- “Your benefits have been denied because of your death. If you believe this information is not correct, please contact Social Security.” –From an official Medicare letter
- “I watch a lot of baseball on the radio.” –Gerald Ford
- “New definition: ideogram illumination, or intensity adjustment, or potentiometer. Old definition: dimmer switch.” –From a 1974 Fiat owner’s manual
- “This document does not concern you. Please erase your initials and initial your erasure.” –U.S. Army personnel department
- And one of my favorites: “All ice cubes will be boiled before using.” –U.S. Army, ordering measures to prevent an epidemic
C.P.S. (Curious Postscript): “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” –Albert Einstein
Curious about something? Send your questions to Dr. Jerry D. Wilson, College of Science and Mathematics, Lander University, Greenwood, SC 29649, or email jerry@curiosity-corner.net. Selected questions will appear in the Curiosity Corner. For Curiosity Corner background, go to www.curiosity-corner.net.
